Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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(304): View more from West Virginia

So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions

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(919): View more from North Carolina

All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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(360): View more from Washington

Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate

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(407): View more from Florida

Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.

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(714): View more from California

Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers

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(770): View more from Georgia

My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!

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