dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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