I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
