Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
