3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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