Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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