Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
