Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
