You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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