He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
