i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
