You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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