I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
