UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
