if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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