You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you didnt know i had herpes?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
