I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
