Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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