as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
