im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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