I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
