So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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