I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
