i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
