Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
