is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
