vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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