Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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