Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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