This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and she was petting her beer can
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
