Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
