Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i would punch a child for taco bell
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
