And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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