we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
