There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
