I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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