Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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