i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
