At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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