We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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