i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
