we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
