Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I believe in your delicious
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
