her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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