Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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