the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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