why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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