I think i peed on brittanys purse
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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