It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
