just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
