I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
