Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
